


Shut My Eyes and Play Along

by easilydistractedbyfanfic



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Developing Relationship, F/M, Friendship, One Night Stands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 00:22:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16775899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easilydistractedbyfanfic/pseuds/easilydistractedbyfanfic
Summary: “Clarke? What would you say if I told you I was thinking about having a one night stand?” Raven Reyes shifts nervously from foot to foot as she watches her best friend apply lipstick in front of her bathroom mirror. Raven’s leaning in the doorway, both of them preparing for a night out with a few other friends. She’s dressed and ready to head out the door as soon as Clarke is finished, but she’s been thinking about this question for the last couple of weeks and is finally ready to get more input.





	Shut My Eyes and Play Along

**Author's Note:**

> I know. I know! Why am I publishing this instead of updating the latest on my WIP? Because I need to close tabs, people, I need to close tabs! I have way too many writing tabs opened on google drive and my eyes are burning. But no other *open* WIP was this close to being done, so don't worry, an update on the WIP is coming, it's coming!
> 
> In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the latest scenario I've foisted these two into. I just want them to be happy in every universe I can think of. And I'm excited to say this is my 10th story here on AO3! Since I started writing this past June, I'm pleasantly surprised I got this far!  
> And OH! If you have not watched this short & amazing Murven instagram video by @platoniclov.e, I don't even know what you're doing with your life. 
> 
> www.instagram.com/p/BqnaysOHwjK/
> 
> And if you wanna share it, I put it on my tumblr too, after getting the okay - easilydistractedbyfanfic.tumblr.com/post/180502076741
> 
> Go. Go right now and watch it and then melt all over the floor. I'll be down there with you.
> 
> ***********************************************************************************************

Have I been wrong, have I been wise

To shut my eyes and play along

Hypnotized, paralyzed by what my eyes have found

By what my eyes have seen

What they have seen?

Carnival ~ Natalie Merchant

  
  


“Clarke? What would you say if I told you I was thinking about having a one night stand?” Raven Reyes shifts nervously from foot to foot as she watches her best friend apply lipstick in front of her bathroom mirror. Raven’s leaning in the doorway, both of them preparing for a night out with a few other friends. She’s dressed and ready to head out the door as soon as Clarke is finished, but she’s been thinking about this question for the last couple of weeks and is finally ready to get more input.

Putting down her lipstick and turning to face Raven, Clarke tilts her head in consideration. “Well, I’d say that if this is what you wanted, then I’m all for it as long as you’re safe about it. You know I’m not one to judge when it comes to casual sex.”

Raven smiles in relief. “I know, and it’s not like I expected you to say anything negative. It’s just, I’ve never done this before and I think I’m nervous about it - but I also feel like I want to. I mean, we’re juniors now, I’m twenty-one years old, and the only two relationships I’ve had, both guys ended up cheating on me. I haven’t had sex since I broke up with Wick. It’s been a while and I’m getting antsy. And before that, ugh, it was Finn who cheated on me with you, and while that all worked out for the best, I feel like not only am I ready to put myself out there again, I also want to have a little more fun before we graduate.”

“Listen, if you want to find a hot guy - or girl - tonight or tomorrow or next week or whenever, you know I’ve got your back. And if you don’t want to, that’s okay too.” Clarke walks over and gives her a tight hug. “There will be plenty of attractive people at the club tonight and although I might be taken, I am more than happy to help you scan the crowd or act as wing-woman for someone doable! My only demand as your wonderful, caring roomie is that you let me know where you’re going if you decide to leave with someone, okay?”

Nodding, Raven turns around, showing off her outfit. She’s wearing a short black dress with three-quarter sleeves, and she loves how the neckline reveals her collarbone. “Deal. Now how do I look?”

“Killer. You’re going to have to beat them off with a stick!” Clarke laughs. “Bellamy should be here soon to pick us up. Come into my room and lemme give you some extra condoms for your purse!”

***************

Raven reclines into a seat at the curved booth her friends pounced on when they all arrived at the club about an hour ago. She’s been on the dance floor quite a while already, and she’s in need of a short break to have another beer and cool off. Clarke and Bellamy are cuddling at one end of the table, and Raven’s next to Jasper, who’s the only other friend in their group tonight besides herself who is currently single. Octavia and Lincoln are still dancing, and she looks around and spots Monty and Harper at a nearby table where they’re talking with a few other students from their campus.

Raven gestures over to them as she looks at Jasper. “You know anybody here tonight, Jasper? For once I haven’t recognized hardly anyone from my classes, although there are definitely a few sleazeballs out there trying to dance and cop a feel.”

Jasper shrugs. “I saw a few people earlier. I’m kind of hoping a girl from Harper’s floor will show up tonight. I met her at that party we went to last weekend.” He briefly glances around the large venue before his eyes land on the bar in the middle. “I know that bartender though, he’s in my Cybersecurity class and I’ve been in his apartment.” He tips his beer bottle in the bartender’s direction, and Raven shifts over to see better.

The guy he’s pointing to is attractive, looking about their age, and Raven figures there’s no harm in finding out more. “What do you think of him?”

“Eh, I kind of like him. He’s quiet in class but when he does speak up he has solid opinions and knows what he’s talking about, although it does come across as sarcastic a lot. A few people think he’s a dick, but one night around dinner, me and Monty were walking home and an older lady was struggling with a couple bags of groceries. I saw him approach her and he ended up carrying the bags for her, so my guess is that he’s probably decent but just doesn’t want anybody to know it.”

Raven looks at him appraisingly and decides she’ll order her next beer from him to see what she thinks of this bartender herself. “How’d you get into his apartment, Jas?”

“Oh, Harper hangs out with his roommate - Zoe Monroe? You’ve probably heard Harper mention her. She’s cool. I ended up over there sort of fifth-wheeling it with Monty and Harper, and then Monroe and her girlfriend. Bartender-dude was polite but hung out in his room while we watched a couple movies. Their apartment isn’t far from ours, but it’s better. It has such a nice set-up, like yours and Clarke’s does with the two bedrooms that have their own bathrooms. I can’t wait to stop sharing a bathroom!” Jasper moans dramatically, laying his head down on the table, and Raven laughs because it’s an ongoing joke that Jasper wants his own bathroom despite being the messy one between him and Monty. Their apartment always looks like a hurricane has gone through it, much to Monty’s frustration.

Deciding to tease Jasper a little over the girl he’s hoping to see tonight, she starts in on him, and it’s not long after Harper leads Monty back over to their booth when Raven hops out of her seat to grab another beer, asking everyone else if they need anything before she goes. They all shake their heads or say they’re not ready, so she makes her way towards the bar on her own. She deliberately walks to the end of the counter where she knows the appealing bartender will wait on her, wondering if maybe she should have checked her hair and lipstick in the ladies room first. There’s a decent number of people crowded along the bar and waiting to order when she gets there, so she focuses on the pounding beat of the dance music and is distracted enough watching everyone on the dance floor that she startles when someone reaches out and gently touches her arm from behind. She spins around in surprise to see that it’s the guy behind the bar trying to get her attention, leaning far over the counter so he can reach her.

“Sorry. I yelled a few times but I guess you didn’t hear me. I figured you were standing here to order a drink and I’ve already helped everyone else.” He waves his hand to the side to gesture around the bar in explanation.

He’s right. The rest of the crowd around his portion of the bar has filtered away, and those still standing there are engaged in clusters of conversation with drinks in their hands. His eyebrows are raised in her direction like he’s waiting for her response, but Raven gets preoccupied just looking at him. His eyes are pretty this close, an intriguing shade of blue, and though it’s not like her to be fanciful, she imagines he’s the kind of person whose eyes give away a lot more than his words.

Giving herself a little mental shake for letting herself get so side-tracked because of _nice eyes_ , she stands closer to the bar now that no one is in front of her. “Thanks, I should have paid better attention for my turn. I like the music tonight, though, and I guess I was daydreaming.” He smiles a little indulgently at her and she gives him her order, flashing the green stamp on the back of her hand from the club entrance to show she’s legal, and he turns to get it. She blatantly checks him out as he walks away, and yeah, she’s interested in the whole package. He’s a definite possibility, and if she adds in the feedback from Jasper that he’s a decent guy and roommates with someone Harper considers a friend, it’s a fair bet he’s also less likely to be some kind of serial killer or otherwise dangerous. That’s more reassuring than she anticipated, and although she danced with a few good-looking partners earlier, the bartender easily skips to the top of her list.

He brings her a beer and Raven feels a flip of nerves in her stomach. She’s never actually picked anyone up before, and she wonders how other women do this so successfully. For all that she’s definitely made up her mind to take sex less seriously, the fact remains that she’s had two long-term relationships that make up the whole of her experience, so trying to determine if a stranger is attracted enough to her to accept a really forward invitation makes her feel out of her depth.

Murphy leans his hip on the bar, considering the beautiful woman in front of him. He’s had this job for a while and he’s no stranger to the varied personalities that come through this place, but he’s never seen her before and he’s sure he would have remembered. He noticed her coming up to the bar for a drink, just like he notices everyone looking to order, but after he completed the rush and scanned the crowd to see if he’d gotten to each customer, he saw her a few steps from the bar, her body swaying to the music rather than impatiently waiting for a drink. He’d watched her for a moment before trying to get her attention, taking in her long legs and fit body, wondering what kind of injury she had that resulted in the brace around her left leg, but mostly just appreciating the sight of a hot girl caught up in the music. When she’d spun around to face him after he’d reached for her arm, he’d felt the weight of those big brown eyes on his and had to swallow hard before he could speak.

“What’s your name?” he asks her, and Raven feels a moment of panic at the question. She hadn’t really thought this part out, and giving him her name almost felt like it made things too real, too personal.

“My name’s… Robin,” she decides to lie, internally cringing at the absurd bird association her brain came up with, but by the smirk on his face she can tell he’s skeptical.

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound like a fake name at all,” he laughs, but it isn’t mean, it almost sounds like he genuinely finds it funny that she’s deceiving him, which she can’t help but appreciate. 

“Maybe I just feel like being someone else tonight,” she casually shrugs one shoulder in his direction. And it’s more truth than she was going to divulge, but it feels right now that she’s said it. Yes, being someone else was part of the appeal, she realized, and she hoped it hadn’t put him off that she was being so obviously dishonest

He looks at her intently, mulling her words. He could understand wanting to be someone else for a little while, although he couldn’t help but wonder what motivated ‘Robin’ to feel like that. Feeling curious as well as still hung up on those expressive eyes of hers, he makes up his mind to roll the dice. “Okay, _Robin_. How about you just call me John, then,” he offers, and it’s been so long since anybody’s really called him by his first name that it’ll be almost like he’s someone else tonight, too. A genuine smile spreads over her face at his response, and if he hadn’t already given in to whatever game she wants to play, now he’s a complete goner.

“Alright, _John_.” Raven takes a sip of her beer and despite the thudding of her heartbeat, she knows she’s the kind of person who prefers to regret what she’s done rather than what she hasn’t, so she looks him in the eye when she asks him what she wants to know. “First, are you single? And second, what time do you get out of here tonight if you are?” She likes it when his eyes don’t widen in shock at her words, and he doesn’t hesitate when he answers her.

“First, yes, and second, our last call is at two but I’m out at midnight since I came in early. If you don’t change your mind by then, I can meet you outside by the front entrance. But that depends on whether ‘Robin’ and whatever your real name is are both single too.”

Raven opens her purse and pulls out enough money for her beer and a better than average tip. She puts it on the bar and picks up her drink. There’s less than an hour before midnight, she thinks, and she’s not going to change her mind, not when she’s more curious about him now. “Both versions of me are single, so I’ll see you later.”

She goes back to the dance floor to join Octavia and Lincoln, feeling his gaze on her as she walks away.

  


***************

Between the crowded club and the busy flood of patrons at the bar, Murphy lost sight of her by the time he was ready to leave for the night. He grabs his coat and scarf from the employee locker area and nods at a few coworkers on his way out, heading for the front door instead of the back entrance like he normally does. He figures his odds are about fifty-fifty on whether ‘Robin’ actually shows up or not, so it’s a little unexpected when he spots her leaning against the brick wall of the building, bundled up in a dark red coat that reaches to her knees. Her expression doesn’t change when she sees him and he’s once again uncertain of her motives but too fascinated to let it bother him.

He stops in front of her, hands stuffed into his pockets to keep out the cold and eyes searching her face for clues on how to proceed. “Before anything else, I gotta ask you how much you’ve had to drink tonight.”

Her lips quirk up in a faint grin and she angles her head to look up at him. “Let’s just say I drank the necessary amount to consider this in the first place, but I’m sober enough to know what I’m doing and to have told my roommate who I’m leaving with.”

Relieved, it’s his turn to grin down at her, and when he does, her gloved hand reaches out to grip his coat in her fist and pull him towards her.

“Before anything else,” she teases, “let’s make sure this is going to work.” She leans up while she tugs him down and then her lips are on his and half a second later he’s no longer aware of the chilly weather since now he feels like he’s burning up from the inside out. There was no question that he was attracted to her, but this… this was something else. It was like someone threw a match into a pool of gasoline and everything just exploded in flames. The kiss goes from zero to a hundred miles an hour in a blink, and before he loses all sense, he rips his mouth away from hers because he’s close to not caring that they were in full view of anyone walking by. Breathing more roughly than any brief first kiss had a right to make him, he stares down at her, confused at the intense feelings running through him. She looks dazed too, her eyes unfocused, and when she licks her bottom lip, it’s a test of his willpower not to just push her up against the wall behind her and do everything he’s suddenly fantasizing about.

“Yeah, that… that’ll work,” she mutters, and he almost laughs at the complete understatement.

Despite his job, Murphy’s not one to regularly hook up with random women, and since he and Monroe decided to split an apartment last year, he’s never brought anyone back to his rooms, hasn’t wanted the intrusion into his private space. But before he can really think about it, he finds himself inviting her over instead of suggesting they go to her place. “I live within walking distance and my roommate is staying at her girlfriend’s tonight. Do you want to come to my apartment?”

She stares at him for a moment, then nods slowly, and he gestures which direction they should go as he turns away from her. They fall into step alongside each other, coats occasionally brushing while they walk, but they don’t speak, and it’s not far before they reach his building and the first floor outdoor landing where he unlocks his door, letting them both into the shadowy warmth of the apartment.

He takes off his jacket, hanging it up on one of the hooks along the hallway and she does the same and adds her purse. She follows him further into the living area and he tips his head towards the kitchen. Their silence isn’t uncomfortable but now that he’s got her here, he’s not quite sure how to continue. “Do you want something to drink,” he offers, as his gaze slides over the way her dress hugs the curves of her body.

“No, I don’t want a drink,” she tells him as she comes closer to him. “I want you to take me to your bedroom and kiss me again.”

At that he’s half-tempted to pinch himself, positive he’s pulled this girl right out of his daydreams, but there’s no way he wants to wake up now, so instead he grabs her hand and leads her to his room, hauling her inside and quickly closing the door behind her so he can crowd her up against it and capture her mouth with his once more. Any worry that his first reaction was just a fluke is completely dismissed when his blood feels like it’s suddenly boiling over inside him, and when he tangles both hands in her hair to deepen the kiss and she practically melts against him with a whimper, he knows she’s overwhelmed too.

  


***************

Raven was feeling impressed with her audacity in telling him that she didn’t want a drink, that she just wanted to go to his bedroom, and she had liked the way his eyes had darkened at that and how he’d hurriedly pulled her along after him as if he couldn’t wait to touch her. She’d _really_ liked it, as a matter of fact. And all those positive feelings just added to her confidence about her decision to do this, not that she genuinely needed any further convincing at this point. But when he kissed her again… my God what _was_ this? It was like an explosion went through her and turned her insides to goo. Was it because he was more or less a stranger to her? Did she have some previously unknown secret fantasy to make out with a random man and that’s why it was totally doing it for her? She didn’t think so, honestly, because even though she’d only just met him, for whatever reason he didn’t _feel_ like a stranger any more. That first kiss outside the bar had felt like something new and something so familiar all at once, and she’d never be able to explain it outside her own head, because as amazing as it had felt, it had also almost been like her body recognized something about him and was giving her explicit approval to do what she wanted.

Whatever it had been, she was no longer questioning what she was doing, instead giving herself over to the unbelievable sensations he sent through her with every little touch. Despite her low number of partners, she’d had good sex before, and _because_ it was good that was one of the main reasons why she had missed it and had finally decided to go looking for a one night stand in the first place. But oh, this was different already, even just with kissing and their clothes still on. It felt more urgent, more necessary, like if he stepped away from her now it might actually cause physical pain. Something she _could_ explain, and what she’ll probably tell Clarke later, is the absolute certainty that choosing this particular guy for her one night stand might just be the best decision she’s ever made, because whatever it is about their compatibility that makes it so extraordinary, it’s obviously working for both of them.

Raven drags her hands away from his neck, impatient to feel his skin against hers. She pushes her palms up under his henley, running them along his abs before she yanks his shirt out of her way and over his head. He lets her go just long enough to get it off, then his mouth is back on hers like he’s starving, and holy hell could he kiss! His fingers finally start to slide down the zipper on the back of her dress, and when she senses it’s loose enough, she lets the sleeves fall off her arms and just steps right out of it. When it’s off and his eyes rake over her with so much heat she can practically feel it burning through her, she’s thankful she wore the skimpiest bra and panty set she owns, although she can’t wait for him to tear it right off her.

He moves her backwards towards his bed, only taking his hands off her to pull away the covers before gently pushing her down against his pillows. His hands start to unbuckle his belt but his eyes don’t stray from her own, and she’s never been this turned on in her life. He stands naked before her for a moment before he crawls up the bed on top of her, and as his mouth sucks a spot just under her ear and his hands caress and tease her nipples through her bra, she has one last thought before her brain shuts down and all she can do is feel. _Yeah… best decision ever._

***************

`

The faint sound of a train horn is enough to wake her, and Raven blinks her eyes open in annoyance. She’s comfortable and sleepy, but John’s apartment is closer to the railroad tracks than hers, and the long whistle was something her ears weren’t accustomed to, even if it was distant. It’s dark in his room, and Raven doesn’t think they’ve been asleep for long. He’s pressed up against her from behind, one arm under her neck where her cheek rests, and the other wrapped snugly around her waist. It’s not a position she’s used to sleeping in, and maybe she should feel trapped… instead it feels appropriate, somehow. She can feel the warm air from his breath on the back of her neck, and she has the fleeting thought that he must be accustomed to the train noise and can sleep through it.

She lets her eyes drift around the room, noticing everything for the first time now that her entire focus was somewhere other than on the man beside her. The blinds are closed on the window closest to her, but there’s enough moonlight to make out details of the space, and Raven is intrigued over how much she likes what she sees. John’s bedroom is a good size, and it’s an apartment, so it’s typical that the walls are white, but there’s a pleasing mix of black and white photography shots hanging up, combined with a few framed newspaper articles beside the wooden desk underneath the other window. The desk is big and bulky enough to look like an older piece, and there’s a stack of books and papers on one side of it. Next to the desk, there’s two tall bookcases filled with more books and camera equipment, making her wonder if he took the pictures that adorn his walls. She can’t see it because of the direction she’s facing, but she does remember a dresser being next to the bedroom door, maybe with a mirror over it. The curtains on both windows are navy blue like the sheets on the bed, and the warm, weighty comforter on top of them is a nice blend of charcoal gray and navy blue plaid. There’s even a damned plant on the desk, she observes with a small smile, and it’s all just cluttered enough to be lived in and cozy, but it’s unpretentious and makes her feel like she wants to spoon up against him in his cushiony bed and not leave for days and days, which sets her heart racing as soon as she realizes it.

_No, nope, no way! I’m here for a one night stand_ , she reminds herself, _and it was_ _impressively amazing sex, yes, but still… that’s it. No getting won over by his room that makes her feel welcome or the way his scent makes her stomach somersault or how pretty his eyes are. Just sex, nothing else._ Closing her eyes and forcing herself to calm down, she nestles deeper into his embrace, concentrating on deliberately emptying her mind, matching her breathing to the exhalations at her back, and it isn’t long before she returns to a dreamless sleep.

  


***************

Murphy awakens soon after five, his body accustomed to earlier hours no matter how much he tries to fight it. As soon as he opens his eyes to see smooth brown skin and feel the warmth of her body against his, the events of the previous hours jump to the forefront of his mind. Last night, after she stepped out of her dress, he had maneuvered them over to the bed, yanking down the covers so she could lay back against the pillows. He’d toed off his shoes, unbuckled his belt and let his eyes roam down over her, and it had occurred to him why he’d offered up his apartment so unexpectedly. Watching her in his bed, the sight of her dark hair spread over his pillow and her eyes clouded with lust wasn’t going to leave his head any time soon, and neither was the feeling of waking up with her in his arms. He likes having her here, in his space where no one else has been, and maybe if he plays his cards right, he could keep her for longer than just a one night stand. It had been a long while since he’d wanted to literally just _sleep_ with a woman after sex, yet he’d pulled her closer without a second thought as if they’d done this many times before. It wasn’t just because the chemistry between them was through the roof, either. Something about her feels familiar to him and he wonders if she senses it too. If she does, maybe it won’t be hard to convince her to stick around.

He tightens his arm just a fraction around her waist and bends his head down further, enjoying the slight scent of coconut that must come from her shampoo. It’s only about twenty minutes later when she starts to stir, although that might have something to do with his inability to stop his lips exploring the back of her neck along where it meets her shoulder. Guilt prickles through him for a moment for interrupting her sleep, but when she rolls over and looks up at him with sleepy, dark eyes, he’s selfishly glad she’s awake.

“Hi. It’s really early still. I’m sorry if I woke you.” He adjusts his arms now that she’s changed positions, but he doesn’t want to stop touching her unless she says to, so he trails his fingers along her lower back and watches as her eyes close again.

“It’s okay. Your bed is seriously comfortable, did you know that?”

“I’m glad you think so.” He experiments a little, shifting his leg between hers, pulling her hips closer, and when she tucks her head under his chin and against his chest, a relieved smile crosses his face. She’s quiet for a while, just breathing against him, and he thinks maybe she fell back asleep as he runs his fingers through her hair. He hasn’t had this feeling in a long time, hasn’t really wanted it even, and he wishes he knew her real name so he could say it. As far as he’s concerned, he’s content to lay here all day if that’s what she wants, but no sooner has he had the thought and she’s moving out of his arms, damn it. He’s always been one to jinx himself when it comes to relationships. She sits up, holding the sheet in place, and even though their legs are still touching, he feels the loss of her. He straightens his back against the pillows, looking at her expectantly.

“I should get going.” She’s not quite looking him in the eye as she says it, and he feels a sudden twist in his gut with her words, because the last thing he wants is for her to leave.

“I don’t want to make things awkward,” he shrugs regretfully, “but I could give you a ride to your place or get you an uber.”

“Oh, that’s… thanks, but it’s okay. I recognized this complex last night when we walked here, and my friends only live a couple of blocks away. I have their key with me,” she explains. “I don’t want to interrupt whatever you had planned.”

“Nothing that can’t wait,” he lies, because he really does have a paper to write, but he’d much rather spend the time with her. He can tell though, that she’s getting skittish, and he doesn’t want to scare her off, but there’s no way he can let her leave to walk around alone while it’s still dark out, even if this area is relatively safe.

She bites her lip and does manage to look at least somewhat apologetic when she shakes her head. “I appreciate it, but…”

It’s rude, he knows, but he interrupts anyway. “Listen, this area isn’t dangerous or anything, but what kind of guy would I be to let you leave while it’s still dark outside? I’d have no way of knowing if you got to where you were supposed to go. If you won’t let me give you a ride or get you one, you’ve got to let me at least make us some coffee and loan you some clothes so you won’t freeze, _and_ I’m going to make it slowly so by the time you leave, there’ll be more people and traffic outside.” His arms are folded across his chest like this is the final deal he’s going to offer her, and she’s amused at herself for not wanting to refuse him any further. But she’s also inordinately pleased to know that her instincts about him are right.

“Alright. Yes to the clothes, and yes to the coffee as long as you have milk or some kind of cream. I can do without sugar but I don’t like it plain.”

He sighs in relief and hopes she doesn’t pick up on it. “That won’t be a problem.” He pushes the covers back, unconcerned with his nudity, and walks over to his dresser. He pulls open a drawer and tugs on a pair of sweatpants before rummaging around for a few more moments, turning to her when he’s finished. “Here. These sweatpants have a tie so they’ll stay up on you. And here’s a t-shirt - I have a couple sweatshirts in the hall closet if you want one of those too.”

She takes the clothes from his outstretched hands with a smile, but it quickly fades when she looks down at the shirt. A look of alarm comes over her face, and his eyes narrow in concern.

“Don’t tell me you’re a Steelers or Patriots fan.” _Please don’t be_ , he silently adds.

“What?” She looks startled, as if she has no idea what he means, and now he’s more confused.

“You made a face when you looked at my Ravens shirt, so I figured maybe you were a fan of one of Baltimore’s rivals. I grew up there, that’s their football team. My dad and I go to games when I’m home.”

“Yes. No, I mean, I’m not. You can’t go to school here in New England without being fully aware of the Patriots. I do know what the Baltimore Ravens are, and I’m not a Patriots or Steelers fan, even though I am from Pennsylvania. I guess I’d be an Eagles fan, although I prefer hockey and the Flyers.”

“Oh, man, bloodthirsty but dedicated, right,” he teases.

“You could say that.” The smile comes back to her lips, and he’s relieved that whatever might’ve upset her has seemingly passed.

“There’s towels in the bathroom closet if you want the shower. I’m gonna go make coffee.”

She nods and he takes one last look at her in his messy bed, sheet gathered across her breasts and her hair in disarray around her shoulders as she tries to comb some of the snarls out with her fingers. He opens the door and leaves her in his room, wondering how exactly he’s going to persuade her to come back.

  


***************

  


As soon as he’s gone, Raven falls forward, pushing her face into his bed with a muffled groan. He’d handed her that shirt, and she’d seen the spelling of her name and had just felt tongue-tied. There was an outline of a purple raven on it, and logically she did know it was a football team, but in that moment it had seemed like a sign from the universe telling her things she didn’t want to hear. _One night stand, that’s what this is_ , she told herself firmly. She thinks about his offer of a shower, and there’s a part of her that doesn’t want to wash away the memories of last night that linger on her skin, but that doesn’t fit with her determination to put this whole situation into a neat and tidy box in her mind, so she knows what she has to do. She picks up the sweatpants and shakes her head at the shirt, bending over the side of the bed to strap on her brace before walking naked past his desk. There’s a container on top holding a variety of things to write with, and she leans over and grabs two pencils, thinking she’ll twist her hair up so it won’t get wet under the spray.

It feels intimate to be in his shower, she realizes. Sure, she’d just spent the night in his bed where they’d both done all sorts of wicked and delicious things to each other, and the way he’d touched her and made her come so hard was very definitely going to fuel every single one of her sexual fantasies for the foreseeable future, but still… his shower felt intimate. Surrounded by all the masculine scents from his soap and shampoo, the big gray towels stacked together in the small closet - it gives her the same warm feelings as his bedroom and she sighs at her sentimentality. It was ridiculous to entertain fanciful daydreams about a guy she’d just met, and if she didn’t know better, she’d think she’d had too much to drink the night before.

Leaving her hair piled into a messy bun, she dries off and slides on the clothes he gave her over her bra and panties that she found flung across the room. She has to cuff the pants at the bottom and tie them tight, and she swims a bit in the t-shirt, but they’ll be warmer than her dress while she’s outside heading to Jasper and Monty’s apartment, and it was thoughtful of him to offer them. Still, she’s pretty sure she’s failing the whole one night stand procedure on her first try. She didn’t leave right after the sex, for one thing, and had slept wrapped around him the rest of the night and now was about to go into his kitchen and have coffee together. Not to mention the shower and his clothes and the actual desire to stick around for more cuddling that would have probably led to more sex if she would’ve let it. Undoubtedly those things were all _not_ in the handbook, but then again, it wasn’t like anybody had even given her one. Maybe she should have asked for a few more details from Clarke and Octavia before they’d both gone and gotten themselves into committed relationships, she thinks. Clearly she could have used some pointers.

Checking her appearance nervously in his mirror first, she gathers her dress off the floor and makes her way silently out of his room and towards his kitchen. He’s sitting at the counter, quietly reading a newspaper, but he looks up at her approach. Raven forgot he hadn’t put on a shirt, and she resolutely squashes down the quick stab of desire she experiences at the sight of him. His eyes wander over her eagerly as she feels a bothersome blush rise on her cheeks. Wanting to divert his attention, she waves her hand towards the empty mug next to him.

“Is that for me?”

He jumps up from his stool and walks around to the refrigerator, pulling out a container of milk. “Uh, yeah. Have a seat and just say when.” He puts the mug in front of where she sits down and starts to pour fresh coffee from the pot in until she tells him to stop. Passing her the milk and a spoon, he refills his own mug and she notices he doesn’t mix anything into it before taking a sip.

“You know, I read something once that said people who drink black coffee are more likely to be psychopaths,” she tells him lightly, stirring her own cup into a paler shade of tan.

Slouching back onto the stool beside her, he pushes the parts of the newspaper he’s not looking at closer to her. “I heard about that, too,” he tells her in an impassive tone, picking his own section back up and returning to whatever article he was reading.

Raven smothers a little smile as she drinks from her own mug, entertained that he’s neither taking offense or denying the study on flavor preferences. She reaches for the paper and flips through until she spots a piece about tech that looks promising, and they read in companionable silence that’s a lot more comfortable than it should be, she decides. She lets herself relax and enjoy it until she notices that the clock on the wall says it’s close to seven, and with a tiny sigh, she folds the paper closed and finishes what’s left of her drink.

“Thanks for the coffee. I’m going to head out.” He turns to look at her and she wonders if she imagines the flash of dismay in his eyes before he stands up.

“Do you want a sweatshirt,” he asks as she follows him to the entry hallway.

“No,” she slips her feet into her ballet flats and rolls her dress into a bundle small enough to fit into her purse. “I’ll be fine with my coat, and it’s a short walk, like I said. But I appreciate the clothes.”

He holds open her coat for her and she’s oddly touched by the old-fashioned gesture, taking in a deep breath as she buttons it up. Her heart is thudding in her chest as they stand in the small space, and she’s instantly aware she has no idea what to say next.

“I’d tell you to keep them, but I want you to have to come back,” he admits, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Take however long you need to think about it. I already know I like you and want to see you again.” She feels a sudden lump rise in her throat and couldn’t speak if she tried, so it’s a relief in more ways than one when his free hand burrows into the damp hair at the nape of her neck, tugging her head up and sending a thrill of anticipation through her before his lips slant over hers.

She lifts her arms around his neck and kisses him back with all the pent-up emotions she can’t quite put a name to just yet, and later she’ll laugh when she realizes that going weak in the knees is a real thing, but now she can only hope that he can be patient with her while she figures this whole thing out.

Eventually she reluctantly pulls away, fully aware that much more of this will result in both of them being naked at his front door. She looks up at him and hopes he can read the sincerity in her voice when she tells him, “I have to think about this because of _me_ , not you. This is....not what I was expecting.”

He stares into her eyes and he must find what he wants to see, because he leans forward around her to unlock the door before releasing her from his arms and taking a small step backwards. “I know you told me a fake as hell name, but even though hardly anyone ever calls me by it, my name _is_ John. You know where to find me.”

All she can do is nod at him a little frantically before twisting open the doorknob and hurriedly rushing out into the cold morning. She pulls the door tightly closed behind her and through absolute willpower, manages not to look back on her way to Jasper and Monty’s.

***************

Days later, Raven’s wedged into the corner of the couch, a book open in her hand, but she’s been staring at the same page for almost an hour, absorbed in thought. She might have sat like that for the rest of the night, until Clarke came in the front door and went about settling in after her day of classes. Raven felt Clarke’s gaze flick over to her a few times, and it wasn’t long before Clarke came out with mugs of hot tea and a plate of cookies and lounged onto the couch beside her. 

“Alright, you’ve been quiet ever since we went out and you hooked up with that bartender last week. You came home the next day with a dazed look on your face and wouldn’t tell me anything other than to say it was pretty much the best decision you’ve ever made.” Clarke takes the book out of Raven’s hands and puts it on the coffee table. “Let me tell you, I have been _dying_ to know the details after a comment like that. I’m done waiting! No more holding out, Raven, spill!”

Groaning, Raven dropped her head into her hands. “I’m so stupid, Clarke! Now I think maybe it was the _worst_ decision of my life, because I can’t get it out of my head! I can’t even do a one night stand right!”

“Hold up,” Clarke sits up straighter and bites into a cookie. “First it was the best decision and now it’s the worst? Because you keep thinking about it? Oh, this is getting even better. This guy must’ve known what he was doing, am I right?” Clarke grins devilishly at her and wiggles her eyebrows.

Hands still covering her face, Raven spreads them open enough to peek through and nod sheepishly at Clarke before dragging them down her face with another loud groan. “Yes, he knew what he was doing, but it was more than that. It wasn’t what I expected a one night stand to be like - it felt more like we knew each other, and I wasn’t nervous at all. I’ve never had this kind of immediate connection before. And now I keep looking around campus, hoping I’ll bump into him and I keep trying to think of what I’d say if we did, but that’s not what you’re supposed to do with a one night stand! Like it’s supposed to just scratch an itch and then you’re done with it, maybe it’s even forgotten about, and here I am imagining ways I could deliberately run into him.”

“Well, damn, if the sex was _that_ good, there’s no reason not to try and hook up again. Odds are that he enjoyed it too and wouldn’t say no.” Clarke reasons, but then she catches a glimpse of Raven’s embarrassed face and she makes an excited accusation. “Wait, no! You don’t want to find him just for the fantastic sex again, do you? You actually _like_ him, Raven, oh my god!”

“I...that would be so dumb - I don’t even know him so how could I like him? Maybe I just got caught up with the ridiculously good sex, that’s probably all it is,” Raven tries to sound convincing. “I mean, I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I wanted to try something new, live a little, have some fun. And it _was_ fun, definitely. But it can’t be more than that.”

Clarke raises her eyebrow knowingly. It’s just like Raven to reject the exact thing she wants simply because it doesn’t fit into the timeline of how she’s mapped out her life at any given moment. “Raven. Just because you weren’t looking for a relationship doesn’t mean you won’t find one.” Clarke ticks off on her fingers as she continues. “Obviously there were a few things about this guy that worked for you, because one, you decided to have sex with him. Two, you went to _his_ place. Three, you _slept over_ at _his_ place, and four, you’re still thinking about him. You _like_ him, and you’re not fooling me, even if you are lying to yourself.”

Raven quickly stuffs a cookie between her lips to avoid answering, but as usual, Clarke is on to her tricks. “Oh no, don’t think you’re getting out of this one just because your mouth is full. We’ve been where he works - go back there and talk to him. Plus you saw where he lives, _and_ you told me that night that Jasper knew how to find him. So you’ve got some options. If he’s smarter than a box of rocks, he’ll say yes if you ask him out, I’m sure of it.”

Shaking her head, Raven swallows and sighs, knowing that if Clarke knew that John had already told her that he’s interested, she’d really push for her to quit taking her time about it. “I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, Clarke. This is all so out of the blue.”

Understanding that pushing Raven isn’t what she needs, Clarke smiles gently and picks up her tea and a few cookies before standing. “Do me a favor - think about what I said, alright?”

“Okay,” Raven agrees, and she watches Clarke head off to her room. It’s going to be impossible _not_ to think about it, especially because obviously she _does_ like John, despite her protests. Sighing, she decides to go to bed herself, wondering if more sleep is what she needs. She cleans up the remaining dishes and gets a few things ready for her day tomorrow. After brushing her teeth, she lifts up her pillow and hesitates, looking at the clothing there for a minute before giving in and putting them on. Sliding under the covers of her bed, she knows Clarke had it right - she never would have stayed the night with a guy unless she felt at ease, but it was more than that with him. There was a connection between them and it was bigger than just an explosive physical one. She’d liked his room, his bed, the strangely familiar scent of him and the way his arms had held her close. She hadn’t wanted to leave at all, really, which is the reason she knew she had to go, and didn’t that say it all right there. There was another sign, though, one that Clarke had missed because she hadn’t known about it, but as Raven snuggles deeper into the blankets, squishing her nose against the arm of her top, she supposes that continuing to wear John’s Baltimore Ravens t-shirt and sweatpants as her pajamas each night since he’d offered them to her is probably a huge red flag that she was well and truly infatuated. It was getting harder to write that shirt off as a simple coincidence now that she’d acknowledged to herself how much she wanted him. Maybe the universe was telling her something, and maybe it wasn’t… but there was a part of her that wanted to believe it. Now she just had to make up her mind on whether she wanted him enough to potentially change her life plan.

  


***************

  


Raven thinks it over for a total of twenty-one days, all the while feeling like he’s an itch under her skin, just out of reach. While she’d figured out that first night that she liked him and wanted to see him again, it had taken her brain more time to determine if she was _ready_ for him. Clarke had pushed a little, asking if she’d gone to see John yet or if she was planning to, always rolling her eyes or giving Raven an exasperated face when Raven still hadn’t made a move. But how could she explain to Clarke that it wasn’t as simple as deciding whether to ask him out to dinner? No, this was… important to get right.

Just like on the night they’d met when she’d suddenly had the feeling that he was familiar to her, not really the stranger he should be, it was the same way now. As crazy as it sounded, Raven sensed that being with him wasn’t something she could take lightly, because she had a strong suspicion he was the person she was supposed to end up with, and that hadn’t been part of her timeline at this point at all. It had also never been a part of her plan to fall for someone she’d intentionally picked up for sex, either. Sex wasn’t love, of course she knows that, but in spite of her intentions her one night stand turned out to be a lot more than just sex, and that was clear even before her clothes were off. Just like it was clear that it was going to be a very short distance to go from liking John to falling in love with him, although if anyone tried to ask her _why_ she knew that, she’d have no way to answer. It was just something she knew to be true, she could feel it inside her the same way she’d felt it during that first kiss - intuition, maybe.

The last three weeks had taught her that the more she tried not to think about John, the more she missed him, so the next morning she gets her scheme started. Two days after that significant night out at the bar, Raven had casually managed to wrangle out of Jasper the day and time of his Cybersecurity class each week, and she’s finally going to put that information to good use. It means getting up at god-awful early and skipping a few classes herself, but for once something is more important to her. She has enough time to stop at a popular cafe on campus, getting herself a latte, a ridiculous frothy confection for Jasper, and a plain black coffee for John. And then she sits on a bench outside the main entrance of the building he’s in, trying not to think too hard about the butterflies in her stomach or what exactly she’s going to say.

From her vantage point, she has good sight lines for everyone coming out the main doors, and unless students start to gather on the front stairs, anyone exiting this way will be able to see her as well. It’s Jasper who comes out first, bounding down the steps like an energetic puppy, but he almost misses her because he’s so busy scrolling through his phone. When he does look up, a big grin comes over his face as he calls out to her and waves.

“Raven! What’re you doing here? And please, god, tell me that gorgeous pile of whipped cream and sprinkles is for me?”

She keeps the doors in her peripheral vision as she smiles and gestures for Jasper to take the cup. “Yeah, it’s yours, you weirdo, go ahead and take it.”

Jasper pounces on the coffee gleefully, heedless to how hot the liquid inside might be as he takes a huge gulp. He starts to ramble on about what an awesome friend she is, but her fond attention to his aimless babble vanishes instantly when she sees John come outside. The only thing he gives away when he spots her is a slight raise of an eyebrow, damn it, and meanwhile her heartbeat has started hammering so hard he’ll probably be able to hear it. He keeps eye contact with her until he’s standing right in front of the bench, and only then does Jasper notice something’s going on and he trails off from his chatter to look between them.

“Hey! Bartender dude! You know my friend, Raven? She’s so great - look, she brought me coffee after that boring as hell lecture!”

Without taking her eyes off John, Raven grabs the remaining container from the bench next to her and holds it out to him, and even with her gloves on, she can feel a spark when his fingers brush against hers as he takes the cup.

Jasper is quiet for a whole three seconds as he watches the exchange. “Oh. Looks like she brought you coffee too, but you didn’t get any whipped cream. That’s too bad. Hey, do you wanna join our study group? We’re gonna meet on Sunday to review international policy. Raven, this coffee is amazing! What flavor is it?”

“I don’t know, Jas. I just asked for the most sugary drink they had and got you a large one. Do you think you could ask John about your study group another time? I actually came by to talk to him.”

“Okay, yeah. Call me later. Either of you, both of you, whatever. Oh, or maybe we should go catch a movie, you guys and me and Maya. Like a double date. She’s so awesome - you’ll love her! We should do that! Thanks again for the coffee - see ya!” Jasper pulls out his phone, immediately starting to text as he walks away.

John sits down next to her, his leg touching hers, and lifts his coffee up for a drink. Everything she thought she’d say has frozen on her tongue now that he’s here and has her feeling hyper-aware of just how close they are. She wants to explain why it took her so long to see him again, how she didn’t want to lead him on if she really wasn’t prepared for the possibility of them. But that now she’s definitely ready for the risk, in fact she wants it - wants him - more than anything. She twists the fingers of her gloves between her hands, tugging them off and stuffing them into her pockets nervously, unsure how to put her feelings into words. He takes pity on her, or maybe it’s sheer snarkiness on his part, because he tilts his head towards her and she can see a mischievous twinkle in his eyes when he speaks first.

“So, your name’s Raven and ‘Robin’ was the first fake name that popped into your head?”

“Obviously it wasn’t my finest moment,” she admits with a slightly embarrassed shrug.

The corner of his mouth twitches upwards. “Well, no harm, no _fowl_.”

“Oh, that’s a terrible bird pun,” Raven groans, but she can’t help returning his grin.

“Yeah, it was bad. But impossible not to say. Now I know why you had that panicked look on your face when I let you borrow my Ravens t-shirt, though.” He takes another sip of his coffee and then angles himself closer to her and lets his gaze roam over her face. “I was gonna give you eight more days. I could be patient for a month, I figured, then I was gonna look for you.”

Raven arches her eyebrow at him, but there’s a warm feeling spreading through her at his comments. “And you think you would have found me, with a fake first name and not much else to go on in a school this big?”

He gives her a self-assured look. “I’m a political science major with an eye towards influencing policy at the CIA. I’m good at digging...especially if I’m motivated.”

She could go a lot of places with that remark, but the reassurance that he felt strongly enough to find her if she had managed to ignore her own feelings boosts her confidence, and she’s suddenly aware that every time she’s gotten a little reckless where he’s concerned, it pays off. Maybe she’s more of a gambler than she thought, she decides, or maybe it’s just John who makes her want to, but either way, she takes another chance.

“You know, I was going to ask you if you wanted to get some breakfast with me, but the more I think about it, I feel like I should just tell you that I want you to take me back to your bedroom and kiss me again.”

There’s no mistaking the heated spark in his blue eyes at that request, and the rapid little bursts of desire thrumming through her veins only increase when he takes her coffee cup from her grasp and sets it on the bench next to his own. Then he stands slowly and reaches for her hand, pulling her up and into his arms. The smile on her face is probably so big that people halfway across campus can see it, but she’s so happy she can barely contain it.

“We can just order in,” he tells her, rubbing his thumb along her jaw before capturing her lips with his own. And as wonderful as it all felt the first time, it’s even stronger now that she knows they’re both committed to whatever comes next.

Alright, it was official - deciding to have a one night stand was definitely the best decision she’s ever made. But if John thinks he’s getting his Ravens t-shirt back, he’s got another thing coming.


End file.
